


Fracture

by disordr, kyluxtrashbin (Starkiller95)



Series: Revelation [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Porn With Plot, Snoke is there, and sex, the product of an ultra long chat fic that has been going on for several weeks, there's injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:35:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6504688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disordr/pseuds/disordr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starkiller95/pseuds/kyluxtrashbin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With orders form Leader Snoke, Hux retrieves Kylo Ren from the crumbling remains of Starkiller Base. Ren, of course, is a petulant child who can't seem to stop injuring himself. Hux is under orders to have the knight healed and ready to complete his training, a task which he is very displeased with until...</p><p>"I'm...sorry..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fracture

Hux looks at his datapad, the blinking tracking beacon pointing him in the direction of Kylo Ren. A few stormtroopers had been dispatched to go with Hux in the shuttle and retrieve the night, per Snoke’s orders. As soon as they were close enough, Hux walks down the ramp and looks around for Ren. He spots him lying bloody and beaten in the snow.

“Stay here and guard the shuttle.” he tells the troopers as he marches off to fetch the wounded knight.

When he reaches Ren he looks down, assessing the damages. “Can you walk?” he asks.

Ren’s response is a miserable groan. ‘Fine.’ Hux thinks.

He grips Ren’s wrists unceremoniously and begins to drag him back to the shuttle. It’s a slow process. Roots and rocks get in the way and Hux drags Ren over several rough patches. He is angry and yet still helpless which makes his anger grow as Hux drags him through the woods. He swears Hux is doing this on purpose, hitting every root and rock like he’s mapped them all out. He swears under his breath and groans again as he hits a particularly sharp rock.

“Stop whining.” the general says bitterly.

They make it to the shuttle and Ren’s back is cut up and bloody from being raked across the ground. He wants to sleep. Everything either stings vaguely or throbs painfully. They sedate him so he’s out for a few hours in a dreamless sleep until the shuttle is back on the Finalizer. Hux watches him sleep. He’s exhausted himself but he’s too worried and heartsick to sleep. Ren, however, sleeps like a rock. He doesn’t even move. Hux wishes he’d stay like this forever, mostly so he’s finally shut up. A tiny bit because he looks kind of peaceful for once, all fair skin and raven hair strewn around his face.

This peace doesn’t last long. Ren wakes up in a bad mood and Hux feels like grabbing a sedative and putting him to sleep again. He checks the small medkit and discovers there’s not more sedative. He’ll have to put up with Ren’s grumbling and foul mood. He orders a medical droid to check on him while he watches from a safe distance, because fuck that. He’s not putting himself in danger. This proves to be a wise decision because the droid is destroyed a few minutes later.

Hux would like the sedative. Ren sits up on the bed and starts to remove the wires and medical equipment from his body. He appears weak like this and he hates it, wants to go back to his room and heal on his own.

“Ren, stop it.” Hux says. “That’s important equipment. You need that.”

Ren continues anyway, his wound starting to hurt. He ignores it, decides he doesn’t care. He removes the last of the things from his torso and wants to leave the bed but notices that he’s naked under the blanket. He hopes it’s just the droids that have seen him like this. He certainly doesn’t want Hux to see this.

Hux stands up and pushes Ren gently back into the cot. Ren is a little stunned for a second.

“Stop.” he growls lowly. But Hux doesn’t.

“If you stay here and let your wound heal, I’ll bring you your pants.”

Ren thinks he’d rather wrap the blanket around his hips and leave. He pushes Hux away and lays on the cot uncomfortably. The fact that Hux knows about the lack of pants is a bit unsettling.

“Do you really have to be here?” he asks through his teeth.

“If I leave you’ll hurt yourself.” Hux frowns. He’s a little worried about Ren. He’s bleeding a bit from the wound in his side. Ren scowls at him.

“I survived back there, do you really think I can’t handle a walk to my quarters? Besides, not having you around will certainly make me feel better.” Ren crosses his arms over his chest. His shoulder and side feel hot and he starts to feel a dull ache there. He realizes it’s probably because the painkillers are starting to wear off.

It’s Hux’s turn to scowl. “Fine.” he says and he throws Ren's pants at him and turns to leave. “Do whatever you want.” Ren winces as the dull aching gets worse.

He puts on the pants that Hux gave him. They’re definitely not his. He resists the urge to look for anything that could stop the pain he deserves after his failure. This is his punishment. He drapes the blanket over his shoulders and leaves the med bay.

By the time he reaches his quarters, the pain is almost unbearable. He stumbles inside, biting back groans and collapsing on his bed. A pained moan escapes his throat as he curls in his sheets as if trying to hide from everything. He lays on the side opposite his wound. He hisses through his teeth and pinches his eyes closed. Hux can hear him from his quarters, whining and moaning in pain. He feels bad for a fraction of a second but his cold exterior returns and he thinks ‘I told you so.’ because this is exactly what he said would happen.

The noises from the other room start to distract Hux too much. He searches for the small first aid kit that is placed in every room on the ship. He takes out the syringe filled with strong painkillers and goes to Ren’s room.

“Is this what you want?” he asks as he shows it to the miserable mess Ren has turned into.

Ren looks helpless with tears in his eyes when he lets his gaze flicker to Hux and then back down. He knows he deserves the pain but he nods anyway, avoiding Hux’s eyes.

“Give me your arm.” Hux says, holding out his hand for Ren’s arm.

“I can do it myself.” he answers, reaching for the syringe. Hux hands it over and watches to make sure Ren administers it properly. Ren takes the whole dose and throws the syringe away. He sighs with relief when it starts working after a few minutes. He relaxes and uncurls his body a bit. It’s making him a bit sleepy as well.

“Let me see those wounds.” says Hux, seeing that the bandages have turned red.

Ren is sleepy enough to be compliant, relaxing a little now that the pain has started to fade. He rolls to his side, exposing his bandages to Hux. He unwraps them gently, careful not to pull them too quickly from Ren’s skin in case the wounds have started to scab. He retrieves fresh ones and applies more bacta to the agitated wounds.

“I told you it was a bad idea.” Hux says while applying the fresh bandage; it doesn’t look very professional but it does it’s job.

Ren is too tired to answer that so he just snorts.

“The shoulder.” Hux orders, and Ren lays on his back. He turns his head to the side to give Hux better access to the wound. He cleans and wraps the shoulder wound, which is not nearly as bad as the one on his side. Ren is surprisingly silent as Hux works. When he’s done, he instructs Ren to lie back down, which he does. He makes sure the knight is still before he turns to leave.

Ren lies down, his back turned to Hux, and feels a bit ashamed and guilty now. Before he thinks about what he’s doing, his mouth is opening and telling Hux to wait. He regrets it immediately but it’s too late. Hux stops in the doorway and turns around.

“What is it, Ren?”

He wants to say he’s sorry for being an ass but can’t quite bring himself to do it. Instead he settles for “Can you stay?” Maybe he’ll work up to an apology.

Hux scoffs. “I thought not having me around would make you feel better.” he says, his voice bitter as he spits Ren’s earlier comment back at him.

Ren winces at his words and regrets the whole thing even more. What was he thinking?

“Nevermind. Forget it.” he mumbles and covers himself with the blanket entirely.

Hux feels kind of bad. Ren was rude, sure, but maybe that was a bit too harsh. He steeled his resolve and turned to leave again.

“Sorry.” he says, quietly enough so that he half hoped Ren wouldn’t hear it.

Ren felt more than heard that the thing Hux had mumbled under his breath was an apology. Something in him moved. He felt short of breath for a moment before speaking without thinking again.

“Me too. I’m...sorry…”

Hux turns to look at Ren, who is still hiding in the blanket, his face only partially visible. He steps toward the knight slowly. He feels vulnerable, like Ren’s apology has made him weak. He’s thankful for it, though. He’s sure it’s sincere or Ren would have said nothing at all.

Ren hears Hux’s footsteps as he approaches. He blames this on the painkillers and blood loss. The knight looks up at him and sees a strange expression on his face. Wait. Is the general blushing? He blurts this out before he can think.

“No.” But he clearly is and it only gets darker with this denial.

“You are.” Ren says, and the corner of his mouth turns upward slightly. He likes the fact that Hux is embarrassed. It gives him the upper hand, though he’s still deciding what move to make with this small amount of newly acquired power.

He uncovers his face and looks Hux straight in the eye. The general feels his face get hot and wishes he had control over his blood flow. Despite how sleepy he is, Ren feels a bit mischievous all of a sudden.

“Why did you come back to me anyway? Did you want to see me moaning in pain or…?” he asks.

“No.” Hux says. “I came back because I heard you were in pain, yes, but I brought you the painkillers, didn’t I? I felt bad.”

Ren’s face softens a touch, the sleepy feeling returning with force. “Thanks.” he doesn’t like saying it, but he does mean it. He is thankful.

“You’re welcome. Now get some sleep. I’ll send somebody to check on you tomorrow and, please, don’t hurt them.” Hux says, feeling something warm inside after Ren thanked him.

He once again turns to leave.

“If it was you tomorrow, I wouldn’t hurt you.” Ren says after him.

“Good night.” Hux answers, leaving and feeling that his face must be as red as his hair right now.

The next day, he struggles to find anyone willing to check up on Ren, afraid for themselves after the incident with the medical droid. Hux sighs and resigns himself to looking in on Ren himself. When he enters the knight’s quarters, he’s still curled in on himself tightly, blankets wrapped around his body, fast asleep. Hux is grateful that Ren won’t see his blushing face as he approaches the bed to assess Ren’s wounds. The only problem is they’re all hidden under the thin blanket. Hux tries to remove it from his side very slowly and gently, but Ren wakes up as soon as his fingers brush over the bandages. He shifts in his bed, alerted by Hux’s presence, but as soon as he realizes it’s the general, he smiles.

“Feels good to have the General Hux himself as a private nurs- aghhh.” Ren says while stretching, but suddenly feels a sharp pain that makes him groan.

Hux snorts and hands him some pills. They’re painkillers, but not as strong as the one that comes in the syringe.

He swallows them without water and moves so Hux can assess his bandages. He looks over them and changes the one on Ren’s side. His shoulder seems to be doing better and it has stopped bleeding when he moves. Hux’s hands are cool against Ren’s too-warm skin, even through his gloves, and he lays back, enjoying the feeling before Hux figures out what he’s doing. Hux notices his skin is a bit too warm. He pulls his glove off and puts his palm against Ren’s forehead, surprising him with the gesture.

“I think you have a fever.” he says and withdraws his hand. “We might need a droid. I don’t have anything to measure it with myself and I don’t know what to give you for it.”

He calls in a droid which measures Ren’s temperature, finds it to be several degrees too high, and brings him antibiotics for the infection that’s causing the fever. Ren is shivering how, clutching the blankets tightly to himself.

“Are you okay?” Hux sounds worried.

Ren is curled against the wall. Hux retrieves a thicker blanket from a small closet and drapes it over the knight before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“The droid was supposed to help me, not make me feel even worse.” Ren mumbles and wraps himself in the blanket that Hux gave him. “Damn, I’m freezing.”

Hux doesn’t know what to do, so he touches Ren’s forehead again and feels no difference.

“You should sleep. We still have a few days before we’ll be in range of Snoke’s citadel.”

“Will you stay this time?” Ren asks, looking up at Hux.

Hux decides he should so he moves to sit on more than just the edge of the bed. Ren’s head lays on the pillow next to him and he pulls the blanket tighter around himself. Hux resists the urge to brush the hair out of Ren’s face.

“Alright, I’ll stay.” Hux says, though this should be obvious to Ren.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself and he feels awkward but Ren smiles faintly when he hears this. He’s still shivering under all of his blankets and feels cold sweat on his skin. Hux takes out his datapad and starts to read the reports like usual.

Ren tries to go to sleep, he really does, but it’s hard. When he does manage to drift off, he wakes up sweating or shivering minutes later.

“Is there some other medicine?” he asks after a few hours of this. Hux puts his datapad down and summons the medical droid but there’s not much to do but wait it off. Ren lets out a displeased groan as the stupid thing leaves the room.

“I could give you the thing that helps me with sleeping, but I don’t know how it’ll work with the medicine you’ve already taken.” Hux says, seeing how miserable Ren looks.

“Bring it. Please, I feel like I’m dying.” Ren mumbles. He looks up at Hux like a puppy that’s just been kicked.

Hux thinks it’s probably a bad idea, that the side effects of it might be worse than what he’s going through now, but Ren must really be suffering if he’s pleading like this. He goes to his quarters and returns with his pills. If this hurts Ren, Snoke will certainly kill him. On the other hand, after the Starkiller was destroyed, there’s not much left of his career anyway.

He hands Ren a pill and a small cup of water and he takes them gratefully. He waits a bit, fidgeting impatiently. After 15 minutes he’s feeling dizzy and tired. He’s not sure if it’s from the fever or the pills but he falls asleep before he can work it out. He sleeps for a long time. It’s mostly dreamless, too. It’s after several hours of interruption free work that Hux checks on Ren. He’s warm, but his fever his fever has decreased.

He starts to get concerned after 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep. ‘Maybe this was a bad idea.’ he thinks. He approaches Ren and watches him closely. He’s pale and has dark circles under his eyes, but his breath is deep and steady. He hasn’t moved since he’s fallen asleep. The pills had never had this strong of an effect on the general so he starts to worry. Ren hasn’t eaten anything. There’s a tray with food in the other room brought by a droid around three hours ago. Hux decides to wake Ren. He’ll tell him it’s because he needs to eat if he gets angry.

“Ren, wake up.” he says loudly, but there’s no reaction.

He takes him by his good shoulder and shakes lightly by Ren is still asleep.

“Ren!” he shakes him harder. “Ren, wake up! Ren! Shit!”

He fucked up.

Hux is panicking now. He feels for Ren’s pulse at his neck. It’s dangerously low and Hux is afraid for what that might mean. He shakes Ren violently, agitating his wounds again. There’s no response. Hux is sweating and shaking and there are tears pricking the backs of his eyes. He falls to his last resort and straddles Ren’s hips, takes aim, and slaps him as hard as he can across the face. The gash oozes a little blood, but Ren’s eyes crack open a little.

“Ren!” Hux brushes the knight’s hair away from his eyes and cups his face. He holds him in place, trying to make eye contact with him.

“Ren, look at me.” His voice is trembling. The younger man’s eyes flutter and his hazy gaze finally locks with Hux’s. The general sighs with relief after seeing that Ren is making contact. A short, frantic laugh leaves his throat as he looks into the dark eyes staring up at him.

Ren looks at him, confused, and brings a hand up to rub at his reddening cheek. “Ow…” he mutters.

Hux is still laughing giddily, dizzy with relief. Ren blinks slowly, he still feels so tired but works to fight it off.

“I thought I’d killed you.” Hux says quietly. He realizes he’s still sitting on Ren’s hips and quickly scrambles to stand. Ren grabs at him, thanks him for the third time and Hux feels his face warm again. His cheeks are burning. Did Ren just thank him for almost killing him or for his concern, or sleep, or…

He’s being pulled out of his thoughts by Ren abruptly crawling out from the bed and rushing to the bathroom.

“Ren?!” Hux follows him and watches as the knight falls to his knees in front of the toilet and vomits. It must be the next round of side effects.

“Shit.” he says as he rushes to follow Ren, snatching the cup he’d given Ren earlier from the table and filling it with water. He sets it by the sink and pulls Ren’s sweaty hair out of his face while he dry heaves and coughs until he’s tired himself out. Hux hands him the water and helps him back to the bed where he sits with his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. Hux brings him a piece of toast from the tray outside. It’s cold and starting to become stale but Ren is suddenly starving, realizing he hasn’t eaten in over 24 hours. He eats slowly and sips at the water. Hux fidgets nervously while he watches.

“How do you feel?” he asks.

Ren swallows the toast and looks up at him. “I’m still a bit dizzy...The room kind of moves back and forth...but it gets better...I think.” his voice is still a bit weak. “I’m not cold anymore.” he adds, and smiles.

This calms Hux a bit. He sits next to Ren and looks at the time. He’s been sitting here the whole day instead of working; his officers will have new gossip material. He sighs and rubs his temples.

“I’m sorry, this was really stupid of me. Please don’t tell the doctors about it.”

It hits him how often they’ve started using words like “please” and “sorry” while talking with each other.

“It’s fine. I won’t. Thank you for trying to help me. I know you meant well.”

This calms Hux and the relief is evident on his face. There was another word: “thank you.” It came up so often now, along with the apologies and the pleading. Hux was exhausted, his mind and body worn out by the events of the day. He felt like he would collapse under the relief he felt.

Hux props his elbows on his knees and puts his face in his hands. Ren sees him like this for the first time, without a straight back and perfect posture. He seems smaller and his hair is slightly out of place. He looks more like a person than General Hux of the First Order, with feelings and doubts. Ren looks at him for a while and a crazy idea is forming in his mind. It’s ridiculous, but somehow feels like the right thing to do. He leans slightly, against Hux’s side, feeling the sleek fabric of the general’s uniform on his skin.

Hux doesn’t move at first, not until Ren’s arm slips around his body and rests there, barely touching him until he leans into it. It’s comforting, somehow. He leans against Ren and they both stare at the floor in silence. It’s nice to be comforted, Hux thinks, even though he feels stupid for needing it. Ren’s body heat is burning through his uniform, warming him and relaxing him further.

Ren feels Hux’s body becoming less tense as he leans on him. He’s surprised that it actually works, even if he somehow felt it would. He tries to read Hux’s thoughts with the Force without him realizing it. They’re a mess, so unusual for this usually collected man. His reason tells him to stand up and walk away but the other something wants more warmth. Ren pulls the general closer and pulls one of the blankets over both of them. They lean back and lay against the pillows. Hux is still wearing his uniform, boots and all. It’s kind of uncomfortable but if he moves to remove them, he’ll lose the warmth of Ren’s body against his own.

Ren hears these thoughts and suggests he at least remove his boots. Hux does so, begrudgingly leaving Ren’s side for a moment. He removes his jacket as well so he’s left in a black undershirt, his uniform pants, and socks. He curls back into Ren’s warmth, the feeling of skin on skin electrifying.

Ren can’t help but notice that without his jacket, the general is so much smaller, his shoulders and waist are so narrow. Hux’s skin is pale as a sheet of paper and unbelievably smooth while his own is covered in moles and freckles. He can’t resist and runs his fingers along Hux’s arm. The general thinks this must be some fucked up dream, because the real Kylo Ren would never do such a thing and the real Hux wouldn’t let it happen. But it feels too real, too good, to be a dream. Ren’s fingers brush along Hux’s pale skin, memorizing the smoothness of it. Hux is so soft, Ren thinks. It’s addicting. Hux’s eyes are closed but he’s not asleep. Ren can feel his mind projecting several things simultaneously, most of which are incoherent thoughts of blissful relaxation. Hux audibly sighs in Ren’s arms. Ren feels this must be a fever dream, though his temperature has nearly returned to normal. He wants to claim that small content sigh as his own, wants to steal it from Hux’s lips, but he holds himself back.

Hux lies with Ren’s arms around him and fights with himself internally. What is he even doing? It’s Ren and he’s the general, it’s not really in line with his work ethics. But this feels so good, he’s unable to turn away. His reason flies out the viewport as his hand travels to Ren’s chest and rests there. He can feels Ren’s heartbeat against his palm, strong and steady. He wants to lay his head where his hand rests. He wants to feel the rise and fall of Ren’s chest as he goes to sleep. He doesn’t know why he wants it though, and that scares him. He shouldn’t want this.

Hux’s limbs feels so heavy, he hasn’t been sleeping much since the Starkiller exploded. He’s constantly anxious about what will happen to him when Ren is delivered to the citadel. He starts to drift off a bit. The thought of Ren being delivered to Snoke disturbs him a little and he curls closer to Ren, trying to push that thought from his mind.

“Don’t think about that.” Ren says gently.

“Get out of my head.” Hux answers, his voice holding no real bite.

Ren’s fingers run gently through the general’s fiery hair. Hux makes a small whimpering sound and Ren smiles to himself at this. He keeps stroking Hux’s hair until he stops thinking about Snoke and falls asleep. His breath is steady, warm against the knight’s side. Ren changes his position so he can look at the general’s face. He likes his long eyelashes, which are almost white and hard to notice from a distance. He closes his eyes and falls asleep too.

When he wakes up again, Hux is gone. “What the fuck?” he groans, missing the ginger in his bed.

He pushes himself into a sitting position, wincing as his shoulder and side bend. He looks around the room. Hux is nowhere to be seen. He misses the warmth and the closeness and he wonders why Hux left without waking him. He slides out of the bed and pads across the rom in search of the general.

Hux is strolling through the bridge at this time, like he should have been yesterday. He was tired and out of balance because of Ren nearly dying but now he’s back to normal. Almost, because he still has the vision of Ren sleeping beside him in his head and he can’t really focus on anything else. He’s already sent the droid to check on him. If he destroys it, Hux will send another one. He doesn’t want to admit it, but it was hard for him to leave the bed this morning.

A droid comes into Ren’s quarters and he feels the rage simmering under his skin. Hux left him here alone and now he’s sending a damn medical droid in his place. Ren feels lost and alone and he wishes Hux was still here. The anger is growing quickly inside him. Hux will regret it.

He searches the whole ship with the Force and locates Hux on the bridge. Perfect. He’s not at his full strength but it’s enough to make Hux trip over “something” and fall on his face in front of the officers. Ren smiles to himself at this but it doesn’t make him feel better. He wants the stupid ginger here. If he won’t check on him today, he’ll go to the bridge himself. Or maybe he’ll go to Hux’s quarters.

Ren decides Hux’s quarters would be more interesting. He slips in and takes in the room. There’s a soft carpet covering the metal flooring and the bed sits against the wall, black linens draped immaculately over the mattress. He wants to wait here for Hux to come back, he wants to make sure Hux pays attention to him. He feels childish for craving the attention but it felt too good. He sits on the bed and waits.

Hux recovers from his pride being hurt by that son of a bitch and makes the decision to see him and tell him what he thinks about this kind of behavior as he brushes off his uniform. He goes to Ren’s quarters during his lunch break but finds nobody there.

“Shit.” he curses under his breath and commands all patrols from his datapad to look for the knight. Then, he goes to his quarters to see what the cameras in the hall have recorded.

The door opens and Hux immediately notices Ren on his bed. He had been sitting but had grown tired and was lying at the foot of the bed. He’s wrinkling Hux’s perfectly pressed covers.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he spits, waking Ren from his sleep.

Ren grabs the general and pulls him into the bed in one movement. He feels a sting of pain in his side as he looms over Hux and looks him in the eye.

“You left me. Why?” he says.

Hux regains his thought process after the shock.

“I thought you liked it there.” Ren continues.

Hux stares up at him. “It was a mistake, Ren.”

A flicker of hurt crosses the knight’s face but it’s quickly replaced with anger.

“It’s a liability.” Hux says. Ren’s face is twitching as he tries to keep his emotions in check. “It can’t happen again.”

Hux feels something heavy in his chest as he says those words. It’s the right thing to do, he can’t mix his private life with his professional one. On the other hand, he doesn’t have much of a private life to begin with and he knows it. This situation hasn’t bothered him, he wouldn’t have had time for any personal life anyway, until now. Until this moment, in which something inside of him wants to reach for Ren and pull him close, feel how warm he is again. His fingers grasp the sheets as he resists the urge to do this. Ren exhales sharply and the corner of his lips twitch slightly.

Ren recoils at those words. “I thought you liked…”

Hux can feel his heart clenching in his chest. He did like it, he wants it now, too. He wants to pull Ren to him and hold him close and make sure he knows that he wants this more than anything, but he can’t. Snoke would destroy him.

“Stop thinking about him.” Ren breathes, slumping to the floor with his back to the foot of the bed. Had he heard everything?

Hux goes bright red again. He had. He covers his face with his hands and groans with frustration. ‘Why is this huge manchild having such an effect on him?’ Ren smiles when he hears this. He ignores the remark because he loves Hux when his walls are gone and he can see and hear that the man before him has emotions. Ren can’t help it but he thinks about Snoke too. Would he really be mad about it? Maybe he’d be fine, but he’s not sure what would happen to Hux. He would probably think Hux is a distraction to Ren. But he needs Hux. He hasn’t felt so sure of himself in years. He doesn’t care that it’s now allowed. He wants it and he knows Hux wants it too. He has no restraint, unlike the general.

He pulls Hux to the ground, and, before he has any chance to protest, presses his lips to the general’s. They’re both at the foot of the bed now, Ren holding Hux tightly as if he were about to disappear. Hux is shocked, stunned. His eyes are wide before the warmth of Ren’s mouth urges them closed. He’s reaching for Ren, desperate to pull him as close as possible. Hux’s mouth opens under Ren’s and their tongues meet, wanting to taste every bit of the other’s mouth. Hux sighs into Ren’s mouth and it’s almost unnoticeable. But Ren does notice. And he loves it. He wants more.

He always wants more than is given to him. He puts his hands under Hux’s jacket, feeling his smooth back under his fingers. Ren coaxes the kiss deeper, making Hux moan and melt in his hands. Ren’s fingers dig into Hux’s back. Hux moves his hands to cup Ren’s face and tangle into his air. He pulls to handfuls of raven hair and Ren moans.

“Fuck.” he growls into Hux’s mouth.

Ren’s hands leave Hux’s skin for a moment to undo his belt. He tosses it aside and moves to the crisp collar around the general’s neck. Hux breathes heavily, touching his forehead with Ren’s. “Are we really doing this?” he gasps when he feels cool air on his skin as Ren removes his jacket and tugs the thin fabric of his undershirt.

“Only if you’re sure.” Ren says, stopping his work at the general’s undershirt.

“Yes.” Hux breathes shakily, half giddy with excitement. “Yes.”

Ren goes back to tugging at Hux’s undershirt, pulling it over his head. Ren’s skin is like fire against his own and he wants nothing more than to feel it everywhere. He’s projecting again. Ren smirks. He closes his hands around Hux’s waist and pulls him to his lap. It’s so small that his hands nearly touch each other as they wrap around his waist. Hux leans closer and kisses the knight again, his hands starting to wander along Ren’s sides and back. He hasn’t had anything like this for so long. Ren starts working his way through Hux’s breeches.

Hux never wants to stop kissing Ren; now that he’s had a taste he’s insatiable. Ren struggles for a moment with Hux’s pants until Hux lifts his hips and pulls them off quickly. Ren’s mouth drops to Hux’s neck, sucking dark bruises into his skin. Hux will have to hide them later but right now he doesn’t care. He lets out a shaky moan as Ren continues, moving down towards his collarbone, licking over the bruises he leaves.

He’s so worked up already, his breaths come out hot and ragged. He jerks when Ren sinks his teeth into his warm flesh, but this pain feels so good. He hears his datapad in his discarded jacket and wants to ignore it but remembers he basically alarmed the whole Finalizer which is now looking for Ren. And Ren is here. He reaches for the damn thing to cancel his orders. Ren makes a displeased groan.

“Sir, we’ve localized Lord Ren after reviewing the surveillance cameras. He seems to be in...your private quarters, sir.” Hux can recognize Mitaka’s voice.

“Good, I’m taking care of this problem myself, lieutenant. You can return to your duties. Good job.” he says quickly and activates the silent mode before tossing the datapad on the bed.

“Now, where were we?”

“You had them looking for me?” Ren says with a small smirk as he continues to bite at the general’s collarbone and shoulders. Hux’s face flushes red.

“I didn’t know what you were up to.” Hux pants.

Ren works the button of his own pants, struggling to remove them quickly.

“And do you know what I’m up to now?” Ren shifts Hux in his lap so he can get rid of the offending clothing. He pulls them forward so their hips are pressed together. Hux can feel Ren, hard and pressed against him, and he shivers in anticipation. He wants to beg but he’s too proud to do that.

“Go on. Do it.” Ren says, still smirking obnoxiously. Damn that fucking power of his.

Hux tries to snort in his usual manner at this, but the sound that leaves his throat is more of a choppy gasp. “Forget it, I’m not going to beg you.” he rasps and starts moving his hips. He earns a loud moan as he grinds against Ren. “Who’s more desperate now?”

Ren’s eyes are dark as he looks up at the General. The smirk is gone. It’s been replaced by a tight-lipped snarl. Hux rolls his hips forward again and Ren has to hold back the desperate sound that tries to leave him. Hux can still hear it though.

“That’s what I thought.” he whispers into Ren’s ear, nipping at his earlobe and pulling gently.

Ren is in awe. He hadn’t thought Hux had that in him. It’s so damn hot, but he doesn’t want to submit either. He starts improvising, taking Hux’s hard cock in his hand and stroking the whole length. This makes Hux’s hips lose the rhythm as they sharply move forward, thrusting into Ren’s hand. He hears Hux groaning right into his ear.

Hux immediately steels himself after this embarrassing noise. He reaches down and rolls the pad of his thumb over the head of Ren’s cock, smearing the precome beading there. Ren’s head drops to Hux’s shoulder and his mouth hangs open, gasping as Hux works. Hux’s smile is feral and wild. He’ll be damned if he won’t break Kylo Ren by the end of this.

Ren grab’s Hux’s ass with one of his hands. It’s rather bony but he bets it has to be tight; Hux looks like somebody who hasn’t had a good fuck in months, maybe years. Ren lifts his head and looks around the impossibly clean room.

“Tell me you have lube or something here.” he breathes out.

Hux’s hand stops as he realizes that he doesn’t. There’s a silence before he finally answers. “I don’t...shit.”

Ren groans. “Really, Hux?” he sounds so disappointed.

“Why would I need it?” he tries to defend himself, but it’s a rough blow.

Ren will have to deal with it some other way, then. His fingers leave Hux’s cock and press his parted lips. “Lick.” he orders, still slightly irritated by this so called strategy genius being so unprepared.

Hux opens his mouth for Ren’s fingers, licking them and slicking them up. He opens his mouth and doesn’t bother sucking off any of the extra saliva. That seems counterproductive.

Ren’s still a bit irritated but it subsides a bit when he pushes the tip of his finger against Hux’s ass and a moan rips from his throat. Ren pushes his finger in deeper and can feel Hux clenching around him. He was right, Hux was tight. Hux is wrapped tightly around Ren, arms thrown around his neck, breathing heavily into the knight’s ear.

“How much do you want this?” Ren purrs into Hux’s ear as he adds a second finger.

Hux whimpers, his whole body trembling, as Ren moves those ridiculously long fingers inside him, but still refuses to beg. He digs his fingers into the knight’s shoulders. Ren rolls his eyes at him for being so stubborn and pushes his fingers even deeper. Hux moans loudly when he hits the right spot.

“Tell me what you want me to do, general.” Ren smiles. He moves his hand in and out so slowly, bending his fingers and driving Hux crazy. “I won’t do anything else until you tell me.”

Hux rocks his hips without any control over his movement, trying to get more of the sensation.

“Please.” he whispers.

Ren grins and replies “Please what? What is it you want, general?”

The use of his title in this situation has Hux more aroused than he has ever been in his life.

“More. Harder.” he manages to gasp out. He’s still rocking his hips against Ren’s hand. He hasn’t felt anything like this in a very, very long time.

Ren scissors him open and adds a third fingers, moving faster. Hux exhales sharply and curses under his breath, his movements becoming more rapid.

“Please, Ren, just fuck me!” he cries out, more than ready now.

Ren pulls out his fingers and repositions Hux above his painfully hard cock, slick from all the precome covering it. He wouldn’t have been able to wait much longer for this. Hux winces when he feels the lack of Ren’s hand, but just for a moment because they have been replaced with something much larger.

Ren fills him in one thrust and Hux cries out. He feels so full he thinks he’ll be ripped apart from the inside but it feels so good he isn’t sure he’d care. He adjusts for a moment and Ren mercifully lets him before continuing with a slow, deep pace that drags across his prostate. He’s incoherent and whining with pleasure.

Hux is very responsive, clenching around Ren and moving his hips in a way that takes the knight’s breath away. He matches Ren’s motion and drags his nails across the knight’s back, leaving red marks. His thoughts are nothing but a mess and Ren can’t read anything sensible from his head. He quickens his pace and hears his own name between Hux’s moans. His breath comes in sharp puffs.

“Ren...I-I can’t take it anymore…”

“Shhh…” Ren soothes, running his fingers through Hux’s hair. He reaches down to stroke Hux’s cock and he cries out, a helpless moan slipping from his lips as Ren’s fingers work over his tip and down his shaft.

“R-ren…” Hux pants. “Please!”

The knight cups Hux’s chin and tips his head back so he looks into Ren’s eyes. “Come for me.” he says quietly, his thumb tracing over Hux’s cheekbone. He kisses him roughly, owning his mouth until Hux is out of breath. The general comes screaming Ren’s name into his parted lips and making a mess on their chests. Ren finishes with two hard thrusts as Hux clenches tightly around his cock and reaches his orgasm with a loud groan.

They both collapse, panting heavily. Hux doesn’t remember the last time he’s been fucked so good. Maybe never. Ren lies on top of him, his weight making it hard to breathe. He kisses Ren sloppily but then the stickiness of their bodies and the weight of Ren on top of him becomes too much.

“Get off.” he says, pushing Ren’s chest weakly.

Ren looks a little hurt for a second until he realizes Hux isn’t making him leave, just trying to breathe. He rolls off and lays next to Hux, admiring the wrecked appearance of the general. His face is flushed, ginger hair a fluffy mess, and there’s drying cum on his chest. Ren wants to kiss him and pull him close. Maybe he’s just being a sentimental idiot, but he doesn’t care.

Hux doesn’t resist when he does it. He thinks his mental health rally got damaged after the explosion of Starkiller. His past self from a week ago would laugh at anybody who would tell him he’d be fucked by Kylo fucking Ren. But here he is, lying half conscious in Ren’s arms with drying cum on his chest while this fucker kisses him lazily. He starts laughing at himself and can’t stop.

“What?” Ren asks, startled from his half-sleep by Hux’s wild laughter.

“It’s ridiculous. It’s the most ridiculous thing to happen to me. Fucked by fucking Kylo Ren!” he says and Ren thinks he sounds like a madman. “And it was so fucking good.” Hux says, his laughter dying down. “It was so, so good, fuck.” he says quietly, incoherently.

Ren blinks slowly and smiles. “Yeah. It was.” he whispers, curling to tuck his face to the side of Hux’s neck.

Hux does sound a bit frantic, though. He doesn’t move and just stares at the ceiling, his face becoming blank again. “Snoke will kill me.” Hux’s voice is hollow. He swallows hard and shivers a bit. “And the day after tomorrow you’ll be gone.” he adds.

“I’ll complete the task he gives me. I haven’t received any new orders from him yet. Don’t think about Snoke.” Ren says and he wraps himself more firmly around Hux to stop the shivering. “I’m going to train, not to die.” Ren adds. “So it’s not like I’m gone for good.”

Hux swallows the strange lump in his throat and it’s almost painful. “What if the task he gives you is to kill me? Will you still complete it then?” Hux’s voice is shaking and quiet as he asks this. His eyes sting and he blinks quickly.

Ren finds himself at a lack of words. He could lie to him and make him feel better, but he feels that Hux would know. He chooses to avoid answering this at all. “He told me to kill Han Solo because it was an attachment that was pulling me to the light. I don’t feel that when I’m with you. I don’t think he would care. Technically, I’m not a part of the First Order so you’re not breaking any rules or ethics here. You should stop worrying and let yourself have something nice for once.” he murmurs into Hux’s ear. He can’t shake the feeling that the general might be right, however.

Hux stares up at the ceiling. He stays silent but his mind is reeling. ‘Nothing ever stays nice.’ he thinks. He wants to be held and coddled and fucked so thoroughly until he’s spent and asleep without the aid of his pills. He wants this nice thing.

“You think so loudly.” Ren says.

“Sorry…” Hux whispers. He feels numb. He wants to hide his face against Ren’s chest and block out the world. He wants to, but he’s afraid it will be his undoing. Ren pulls him close and holds him he way he’s projected in his thoughts. Hux is stiff at first, because the fact that Ren can see his thoughts so clearly still freaks him out a little. Ren puts his hand in the ginger’s hair when he turns to his side to press his face into the knight’s chest. Ren’s fingers gently pet Hux’s hair. Hux feels the lump in his throat again and this time he can’t swallow it down. He’s not used to being cared for or comforted or treated gently at all. It makes him burn for it, want it more than anything. He doesn’t want Ren to leave. He holds his breath as tears burn across his cheeks. This is stupid and weak, but he’s falling for it.

“It’s okay.” Ren whispers “It’ll stay just between us.”

Caring for someone is new to Ren as well. He doesn’t know what to do, he was supposed to hurt people, not comfort them. He mostly relies on Hux’s thoughts, trying to give him what he needs. Hux’s shoulders start shaking as he tries to stop himself from sobbing. Ren holds him tight, one arm around his back and the other cradling the back of his head. Hux chokes on a sob and Ren kisses the top of his head.

“It’s alright. Let it out.” he tries to soothe the general.

Hux is shaking and sobbing and he’s never felt so much in his life. He’s overwhelmed and breaking. And he is afraid. So, so afraid. Ren lets him cry, his heart breaking because he can’t fix this.

Hux had never allowed himself to cry in someone else’s presence. He could always control his own emotions so well, bury them deep down, to the point where he forgot how to feel. He remembers the last time he cried back at his family’s estate, curled in the darkest corner of his room. He was alone back then. He learned that crying wouldn’t do anything quickly, so he just stopped. The feeling of having somebody to hold him is entirely new. Perhaps that’s why he completely lost himself in it. He wishes that it could always be like this from this moment on, but he knows it’s not possible.

He wants Ren to hold him forever. Feeling safe feels good and he doesn’t want to give it up. The vulnerability he feels and the trust he’s placing in Ren scare him, but it’s exciting at the same time. He knows Ren will have to leave and that he will be alone and that thought makes the tears fall again. Knowing he’ll lose this so soon after finding it will be more painful than if he’d never had it at all, but he’ll be damned if he’s going to give it up so soon. So he clings to Ren, inhaling the scent of sweat and sex off his skin and hoping this doesn’t end him.

Hux’s breaths become deeper and more stable as he finally calms down. He doesn’t know how much time has passed since he left the bridge but he’s pretty sure it has been too long. He lies there for a few more minutes anyway. He has to make himself presentable and go back to work. He can come back to bed with Ren after he finishes.

“I’m going to take a shower.” he mutters against Ren’s chest. Ren doesn’t want to let go of him so soon. He curses Hux for being so committed to his work.

Ren stands and follows Hux onto the bathroom. Hux doesn’t even mind when Ren steps into the shower behind him. He lets the warm water run over his hair and down his skin. Behind him he hears the snap of the shampoo bottle and then feels Ren’s fingers massaging his scalp. He sighs and leans back into Ren’s touch. Ren lathers Hux’s hair and then tips his head back to the water and rinses him gently, stroking his hair out of his eyes. Hux isn’t used to this either, the tender way Ren is treating him. He lets Ren wash the drying cum off his chest, reveling in how good his hands feel as they move across his skin. Ren moves his hands to Hux’s back and draws little circles with his thumbs. He wants Hux to relax again like that time when he fell asleep in Ren’s room. He wants him to stay. The bridge can manage just fine on its own. He’ll use the Force if necessary. He’s already using it, scanning Hux’s head for some projections.

All of Hux’s thoughts seem to involve feeling tired and a bit sore. Ren tries to soothe Hux’s muscles while using the Force to calm his thoughts. He pulls Hux’s back to his chest and holds him, resting his cheek against the general’s shoulder.

“Stay.” he whispers quietly.

“You know I can’t, I have work to do.” Hux mutters.

He would like to say something else but he can see with his imagination all the unanswered calls and notifications on his datapad. But he’s so tired, he isn’t sure if he would be able to stand on the bridge for long.

“Please, Hux.” Ren is pleading.

Hearing Ren plead with him makes the part of him that wants to stay burn. He knows he has a job to do, especially if he’s going to have any hope of surviving Snoke. Ren’s arms around his hips are persuasive but he knows he has to work. Ren sees all of his in his thoughts.

“Tell them you don’t feel well.” This isn’t a lie. Hux feels tired and weak, but he’s not sure they’ll go for it. “Please. Stay.” Ren’s voice is soft and pleading and helpless. Hux wants to turn in his arms and kiss him and tell him yes but he’s too afraid of Snoke.

“It’s just a few hours. I'll go to your quarters right after my shift is over.” he says, turning to face Ren. The knight winces, hearing that, so Hux stands on his toes to kiss him.

“Then we’ll have the whole night. I won’t leave you when you fall asleep this time, I promise.”

Ren wants to hold him and keep him there but he knows Hux is right. He lets out a quiet, sad noise when he lets him go. He takes a towel and dries Hux’s hair. They don’t say anything when they come out of the bathroom. The general takes out a fresh uniform from the closet, because the one on the floor is too rumpled to wear on the bridge. He dresses and combs his hair neatly before kissing Ren and leaving the room.

When he arrives on the bridge, Mitaka updates him on what has taken place since he left. He checks his datapad for the official report and is pleased by what he finds. His time on the bridge seems to tick by slowly and he’s glad when he’s able to leave. He leaves his second in command in charge and heads straight to his quarters to change out of the uniform.

When he steps in he doesn’t see Ren. He had to have gone back to his quarters. He takes off his belt and and moves to his collar when he gets a message on his datapad. His heart stops when he sees ‘Supreme Leader’ is the name of the contact. He is ordered to go and see Snoke immediately. He puts his belt back on and heads to the conference room feeling like he could collapse at any second.

At the same time, Ren ies in his bed in only a pair of loose sweatpants, counting the hours of Hux’s shift. It should be finished already. ‘Where is he?’

Ren reaches out to Hux with the Force, searching for him. When he finds Hux’s mind, his heart stops. Hux is terrified. It takes him a moment to understand why but then he realizes Hux has been called to Snoke. “No.” he’s assuming the worst until proven otherwise. He keeps a sharp focus on Hux’s mind, determined to protect him.

The conference room on the Finalizer is nowhere as big as the one on Starkiller Base, so Snoke’s hologram is small. Still, seeing him makes Hux weak in the knees.

“Supreme Leader.” he says.

“I want to know how the recovery of my apprentice is advancing.” Snoke says without any emotion in his voice.

Hux gives him the brief report about the treatment, skipping the part where he gave Ren those damn pills, and hoping Snoke can’t read it in his mind. He finishes with the statement that Kylo Ren is feeling fine now and his body functions properly.

“Good.” Snoke says. He pauses for a moment and stares at Hux for what feels like an eternity but is probably only a few seconds. Hux is praying Snoke hasn’t seen anything that’s happened since he found Ren.

“Tell Kylo Ren to come to my citadel tomorrow, and tell time to come alone, general.”

Hux lets out a shaky breath. “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Snoke’s hologram flickers into darkness. Hux stands still, shaking on weak knees. He turns and goes back to his quarters. Ren is there, pacing the room. He turns when the door opens, eyes wide. Hux rushes inside, closes the door, and slumps against it, breathing heavily as if something has been chasing him and he has run here. Ren moves so quickly Hux thinks he must have run to him and takes him in his arms. Hux leans into his embrace and hides his face against Ren’s shoulder.

“He wants to see you tomorrow. Alone.” Hux mumbles.

“What happened? Did he ask you anything?” Ren asks, concern evident in his voice.

“Just...how you were progressing.”

Ren is holding Hux close and stroking his hair, thankful Snoke didn’t hurt him.

“You’re going to leave me.” Hux says, his voice barely audible.

“I know.” Ren says. “But I promise I'll come back.” he ducks his head down to kiss Hux’s neck.

Hux is shivering with anxiety and nerves. He raises his head to look Ren in the eyes. The knight cups his face with one hand, touching his temple with his index finger, his thumb tracing his cheekbone. He uses the Force to clear Hux’s thoughts, making the fear go away as the general leans into his touch. He holds him because otherwise he’d collapse on the floor. He lifts Hux and lays him on his bed, then starts taking off his boots. The anxiety attacks were getting worse and Ren can’t do anything about it. He fears what will happen when he’s gone. He wakes Hux up enough to help him take his uniform off and dress him in a pair of black sweatpants and a t-shirt. He pushes Hux’s mind gently back to sleep and gets into bed next to him. He pulls Hux close and lays back on the pillow. Hux’s head rests on Ren’s chest as it had done the day before. He holds him tight as if this could protect him.

“It’ll be okay.” he whispers, more to himself as Hux can’t hear him. His hand is back in Hux’s hair, fingers combing through the fiery red slowly. Ren doesn’t really know that it will be okay. He’s just as worried as Hux. He feels the familiar sting of tears in his eyes as he thinks of losing Hux.

Hux’s breath is deep and steady; he doesn’t dream about anything. Ren closes his eyes and feels the tears running down his face. He wonders how long his training might take and wonders if Hux will still be here when he finishes it. He can't really imagine him being anywhere else, not being a general. He falls asleep with one hand entangled in Hux’s hair and the other around his back.

When Ren wakes up, Hux is still there as promised and he’s still asleep. He doesn’t want to wake the general because he finally looks calm, but today is the day he leaves to finish his training and he wants to spend this small amount of time he has with Hux. he gently traces his thumb over Hux’s cheek and across his lips. Hux’s eyes flutter open and he looks up at Ren from where he lays on his chest. He immediately closes them again and wraps his arms around Ren’s body.

“It’s funny, because I actually wanted this for so long...Even before the Starkiller and all this bullshit, but I didn’t want to admit it.” he says with his head still on Ren’s chest. “And now when I have it, it’s going to be taken away. I’ve wasted so much time telling myself it’s impossible.” He looks up at Ren, admiring him, and reaches up to touch his hair.

Ren bites his lip and closes his eyes tight, trying to stop the sting of tears that come with this confession. Hux is stroking his hair gently and it feels so good he never wants it to end.

“I wanted you.” Hux whispers.

“You have me.” Ren’s voice is shaking.

“Not for long.” Hux says, though he doesn’t want to believe it.

He lifts himself on his elbow and moves to kiss Ren. It’s slow and tender, a bit lazy even. When he withdraws, Ren’s lips want to follow him. Hux opens his eyes and sees that the knight’s face is wet.

“What’s wrong?” he says as he brushes the tears from Ren’s cheeks with his thumb. Ren chokes, trying to hide the fact that he’s crying, though it is very obvious. Hux cups Ren’s face and kisses the tear tracks that line his face.

Ren doesn’t answer. He feels like something is crushing his chest, closing around his throat and choking him, making him unable to speak. Hux lays back on the pillows beside him, burying his face in Ren’s raven hair and inhaling the scent. He won’t be going into work today; the bridge can go fuck itself. He doesn’t want to leave Ren, especially when he looks so upset. He just wants to breathe Ren in and lay here as long as possible. Ren’s hand traces down Hux’s side and comes to rest on his waist. It’s so small compared to Ren’s large hands and it’s much warmer.

“I want you.” Ren says, barely a whisper. “I need you, Hux.”

Hux props himself up on his elbow and cocks his head at Ren. “What?”

Ren’s hand travels lower in answer to Hux’s question while he looks into his eyes.

“Well I’m not going anywhere today. Take me if you want me.” Hux murmurs with a smirk.

Ren leans forward, kissing Hux slowly, dragging his tongue over Hux’s lower lip which parts for him quickly. The hand that had been on his waist now cups his ass and Ren pulls him forward and rolls his hips upward to meet Hux’s. The small moan that leaves Hux’s lips is immediately devoured by Ren. Hux smiles into the kiss when Ren has to withdraw for a moment to let them both catch a breath. His hips are moving slowly, rubbing against Ren, making him hard and hungry for more. If this is supposed to be their last day together, they’re at least doing to make good use of it.

Ren is hard under his sweatpants and Hux is nearly there. He’s already missing Hux’s mouth and pulls him down for another kiss which Hux breaks abruptly when he starts laughing like a madman. Ren stops, confused.

“What?” his face is turning red; he’s afraid he did something wrong. Or maybe this is all a cruel joke.

“If someone had told me a week ago that I’d not only be having sex with Kylo Ren but also enjoying it, I would have told them they were insane. And yet here I am.” he punctuates this with another roll of his hips into Ren’s, who lets out a strangled moan.

“Hux, please.” he pants. He’s so hard it’s starting to become painful.

Hux bites his lip when he hears Ren betting like this. His own erection is throbbing with excitement as he works Ren up. He lowers himself to kiss the knight’s collarbone and chest. Ren is panting raggedly while Hux makes a trail of light kisses down his torso. He stops for a moment on his abdomen, admiring the taut muscles before pulling his pants down slowly, teasing him with the fabric before finally setting him free. Ren gasps when he feels Hux blowing gently on his impatient cock, already leaking.

“H-Hux…” Ren is gasping, begging.

Seeing Ren beg is causing his cock to drip. He lowers his head and gently kisses the tip of Ren’s cock, licking the precome off his lips. Ren sucks in a sharp breath, gripping the sheets tight while he watches Hux through half-lidded eyes. Hux licks up the underside of Ren’s shaft before taking him in his mouth and doing his best to swallow him all the way down.

Hux had sucked some cocks in his life, but it’s been a while and Ren is so big that he chokes a little. He adjusts himself and this time takes it all in. Ren’s back arches and he loses sight of Hux, throwing his head back and shutting his eyes. He tries to bite down on the moans trying to escape as Hux reaches up to rub his right nipple. Hux pressed his thumb to the tip of his own cock and starts to stroke it slowly as he sucks Ren off.

Ren is a helpless mess, moaning and gasping as Hux swallows around him. Hux rolls Ren’s nipple between his thumb and forefinger, causing Ren to whine, his cock throbbing in Hux’s throat. He’s working on his own erection slowly and he moans around Ren when he rubs his thumb over the head.

“Hhh-Hux, please I’m so close.” Ren begs, chest rising and falling in quick pants.

Hux pulls his head back and releases Ren’s still hard cock, now thickly covered with saliva. The knight winces when the pleasure abruptly stops, leaving him on the edge. He helplessly humps the air and squirms on the sheets.

“What the fuck, Hux?” he cries out in need.

Hux climbs on top of him again, thinking he has to have completely lost his mind in the course of these five days. He grabs Ren’s swollen cock and holds it in the right position before he sits down on it in one, swift movement. A sharp gasp escapes his throat because it hurts a bit, so he stops there for a while, getting used to the fullness again.

Ren’s mouth falls open at the sudden feeling of Hux’s muscles clenching around him. “Fuck…” he whines, desperately wanting to continue thrusting but knowing it would hurt Hux.

Hux has adjusted enough, he decides. He moves his hips, riding Ren’s cock slowly. Ren’s knuckles are white and he’s gripping Hux’s thighs. He’s whimpering Hux’s name. He won’t last very long, so Hux pumps his own cock, quickening the pace. His thighs hurt; Ren’s grip will leave bruises. Hux is getting close as well and he bends forward to rest his head next to Ren’s, biting into his shoulder.

It’s this motion that causes Ren to come undone, cum spilling from Hux’s ass, down his thighs as he pulls off of Ren. The sight of Ren looking absolutely wrecked alone causes Hux to come. He coats Ren’s chest in thick white streams. Hux collapses against Ren’s chest, knowing they’ll both need a shower soon before it dries and leaves them sticky. Hux nuzzles into the side of Ren’s neck and sighs contentedly. They’re both panting, trying to regain their breaths. Ren wraps his arms around Hux and holds him, caressing the back of his neck. The ginger closes his eyes and relaxes completely to this touch.

“I wish we’d done this earlier.” Ren muters. “I thought you hated me.” he adds, brushing the short hair on the back of Hux’s head with his fingers.

“Oh, I did.” Hux says, snorting, but not in a mean way. “I think I still do, a little.” This was true. Hux hated how Ren had exposed him in just a few days, how he grew to need him. He made it through all Hux’s walls, nestled himself somewhere deep in him in a place Hux couldn’t throw him from. It makes him weak, but at the same time, it’s the best thing that’s happened to him in years.

Ren picks up on this projection of Hux’s feelings and quietly whispers “I need you too.”

Hux kisses the bite mark he’d created on Ren’s shoulder. “This is a weakness, what we have.”

Ren is worried for a second but masks it with an emotionless face. “It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Ren, you make me feel…” he considers what the right word is. ‘Loved’ he thinks, but he settles with “safe.” Ren hears his consideration and it scares him but he feels exhilarated by it. Is he even allowed to have this? He doesn’t feel the pull to the light but this thing they have is becoming serious. Ren realizes he’s already attached to Hux. He realizes he’s most probably doomed him because of it. He doesn’t say it out loud, however, not wanting to cause another anxiety attack.

“Let’s go take a shower. You’re filthy.” Hux says with his face still hidden against Ren’s neck.

“Mm.” Ren agrees without words.

Hux is just as filthy but Ren doesn’t mention this, he just follows Hux to the shower and gets in behind him. The warm water plasters his hair to his face as he leans in to run his fingers through Hux’s hair. He thinks maybe this is more intimate than the sex, this quiet innocent moment. He wants to pull Hux to him and never let go.

Hux cleans the mess off himself and turns to face Ren. He reaches to brush the hair away and studies his face like he wants to memorize every freckle.

“Does it still hurt?” he’s asking about the fresh scar splitting Ren’s cheek and forehead.

Ren shakes his head and lets Hux trace the delicate pink skin with his fingers. “I’m alright.” he reassures him when his gaze goes to his shoulder and side which still look a bit nasty. He probably should wears bandages for a bit longer, but he hated the feeling of them. Besides, his injuries aren’t bleeding anymore.

They stare at each other, committing every detail to memory. Ren cups Hux’s face, running his thumb over his cheekbone in a gesture that had become soothing and reassuring. Hux leans into the touch and Ren wants to kiss him. He looks so different now, so fragile and real.

They stand under the stream of warm water for far too long, holding each other. There will be a lack of hot water for the other officers. Eventually they step out of the shower and dry each other’s hair, sharing a kiss or two in the process.

“So you can hear my thoughts...Can it work the other way around? Could I hear you in my head?” Hux asks all of a sudden.

‘Yes.’ he hears Ren’s voice even though his lips stay closed.

Hux’s eyes widen and it makes Ren chuckle. ‘Do Force sensitive people even need to talk?’ he asks in his thoughts.

‘When the connection isn’t there, it becomes hard to hear the others thoughts. You project. Others put up walls.’ Ren says in Hux’s head.

‘Oh.’ Hux thinks for a moment. “We’re connected.” He says out loud. It’s not a question.

“Of course.” Ren says. It’s obvious given the events of the past few days. It’s a revelation that Hux hadn’t thought about, but that makes sense. This was always supposed to happen, him and Ren.

‘So there is some mystical connection between us...apparently.’ Hux thinks. Ren snorts. “What? I don’t know about this stuff.” Hux bridles as he pulls the towel off Ren’s still slightly damp hair. “I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry.” he says. “I’m gonna send a droid for the food. You want some?”

Ren nods so Hux goes for his datapad and taps some commands. After a few minutes, there is a droid beeping cheerfully with a tray that contains two packs of capsule noodles and a cup of coffee.

“Capsule noodles? Really, general?” Ren says with a crooked smile.

Hux feels that it doesn’t matter what he’s eating so long as it’s here with Ren, so he pops open the capsule noodles and starts eating. Ren follows suit, still with that tilted smile on his lips. He watches Hux slurp the noodles and thinks that if it was anyone else he would have found this behavior disgusting, but when Hux does it, it’s almost endearing in a way.

“What?” Hux says when he notices Ren staring.

“Nothing.” he ducks his head when he starts smiling again.

With his hair all messed and without the constant frown on his face, Hux looks so much younger. His eyes are different, too, warm and vulnerable. It feels so natural, like they were having those shitty noodles for breakfast for the hundredth time. Hux finishes his food and takes a sip of his coffee. Normally he would just be waking up by now. Today he feels well rested, so the coffee is more like a habit.

Ren likes the way Hux looks when he’s like this. He seems so much more innocent and open and vulnerable, as if Ren could break him if he wanted. He wants exactly the opposite. He finds himself thinking he would destroy anyone who so much as thought about hurting Hux. He remembers Snoke and the noodles don’t feel right sitting in his stomach. He remembers he was to leave tonight. He takes the cup out of Hux’s hand and sets it down before wrapping his arms as tightly as he can around the ginger.

‘I will not let anyone take this from me.’ he thinks. Hux is confused but leans into Ren’s body, hugging him tightly.

They lay back on the pillows like that, with their foreheads touching. They could spend the whole day like this, just being close to each other in this bed. Ren closes his eyes as Hux’s fingers causally play with his hair.

“Is this connection going to stay like this when you’re away?” Hux whispers with a shadow of hope in his voice.

“If you don’t block me out, it should. It will take more effort, but yes, it will. Ren says. He opens his eyes to look at Hux. He looks hopeful, but also afraid. His fingers still fidget with Ren’s hair, stroking it and curling it around his fingers.

“I don’t want you to go.” Hux says. It’s a stupid thought. Of course he doesn’t. But that’s not his choice.

They stay in the be the whole day, talking about things and kissing occasionally. Hux asks Ren about his other, older scars and the stories behind them. Ren discovers the moon shaped marks inside Hux’s palms. The time goes by slowly, but the moment when Ren will have to leave is becoming closer by the hour. The closer it gets, the more silent they become. There is only one hour left and they both lay on the pillows, foreheads still touching, holding hands.

Neither of them wants this to end. They don’t know what will happen. Ren is staring at Hux’s face. Hux’s eyes are closed and as time passes, Ren realizes Hux is shaking slightly. He runs his thumb over the half moon scars on Hux’s palms.

“Pleas. Hux, please. Stop, I can’t watch you hurt like this.” Ren begs. He’s not above begging anymore.

Hux’s thoughts are shared freely. ‘I’m scared, Ren. I don’t want you to leave.’

Ren bumps Hux’s nose with his own, trying to be reassuring and gentle. “I don’t want to either.”

Hux tilts his head and kisses his knight tenderly. Ren pulls him close and Hux presses his own body to Ren’s so tightly, as if he wanted to merge with him into one being. Ren is the one to break the kiss. He looks closely into the general’s pale green eyes and lets go of him. Hux closes his eyes and winces to stop himself from begging him to stay, even if he knows it’s not up to him.

They dress in silence and both go to the door. “You go first, I’ll catch up with you. Just make sure the corridor is clear.” Hux says, trying to steady his voice. Ren nods and leaves, walking towards his shuttle.

Hux’s hands are shaking as he exits the room. He straightens his uniform and follows Ren to the shuttle. He keeps his face blank as he looks at Ren, standing at the end of the shuttle’s ramp.

“Good luck.” he says. ‘Come back to me.’ he thinks.

Ren’s mask is on. Hux won’t get to see his face again before he leaves. This is almost better, though. He’d rather think of Ren in the bed they shared, his face smooth and still with sleep. Ren turns and boards the shuttle. The ramp closes behind him and after all the standard procedures, he starts up the engines.

Hux watches as Ren’s shuttle lifts up and leaves the bay of the Finalizer. They’ll stay in this system until Snoke orders them to leave.

Hux goes back to his quarters feeling unable to work. The officers give him looks when he passes near them. When he’s back inside his room, he collapses back onto the bed, face down on the pillows, and inhales Ren’s scent, which still lingers there. He’s surprised he’s not dead yet, though he considers it might be because Ren was shielding them from Snoke’s watch. He’ll surely find out soon. He doesn’t want him to see the events of the past few days. They’re private, intimate. They’re for him and Ren alone. When Snoke finds out, Hux will be to blame. He breathes in the scent of Ren’s skin on his pillows and a few tears slip out of his eyes at the thought that he might not live to see Ren again.

‘No.’ he thinks. Ren said he wouldn’t let that happen.

At the same time, Ren lands on Snoke’s planet. He stands in some kind of yard in front of the massive, ancient citadel, built of dark, almost black stone. He walks inside through the gate that is large enough for a whole TIE fighter to fly through. He sees many stairs and corridors inside, but he knows exactly where to go. He pushes the tall, heavy metal door open and enters the spacious throne room. Snoke sits in front of him at the end of the chamber, looking at him with small black eyes.

“Come here, boy.” he says and Kylo does. He falls to one knee in front of his master.

“I am ready to continue my training.” he says.

“I see your wounds have healed already?”

“Yes, master. I can start right away. I restored my strength on the Finalizer.”

“I have no doubts about it. General Hux took care of it personally, after all.” Snoke says flatly, but Kylo freezes anyway, his blood running cold.

“Yes. Hux made sure I received the appropriate care. He wanted to ensure I recovered as quickly as possible so I could continue my training.” This was half true, but he needed to make Hux look as valuable and loyal as possible.

“A noble endeavor.” Snoke says, and Kylo sees a flash of something sinister in his tiny black eyes.

“Master, it is due to Hux that I have returned stronger than ever before.” he adds, trying to play up Hux’s importance further.

“We shall see, my apprentice.”

Kylo swallows hard. Did he sound too defensive? He probably did. Snoke gives him a long look before he speaks again.

“The general has disappointed me in the course of the last week. The fact that he rescued you and transported you here in good condition is not justifying of him losing the Starkiller Base and skipping so much of his work recently. I’ve found him unable to continue serving the First Order as general.”

Kylo feels weak in the knees after those words, but he doesn’t flinch. He tries to control himself, even if Snoke could see right through him.

“I think he needs to be punished for his unprofessional behavior. What do you think would be the most suitable punishment for the general, my apprentice?” he says and tilts his head a bit, studying Kylo.

He’s taken aback by this question. Snoke is letting him choose how he’s going to hurt Hux. He wants to say that he doesn’t deserve any punishment at all, but that’d mean he’s become too attached to him. He considers what his answer should be to please his master and not be too hard on Hux. He’s afraid. He doesn’t want to hurt Hux. He doesn’t want to put him through any physical pain and he knows he can’t justify Hux missing work by saying he was helping him recover because that’s not the general’s job. That’s the job of a doctor or a medical droid. But Hux had treated him gently, carefully. And when Ren left, he promised that he wouldn’t let anything happen to Hux, that he would protect him from Snoke.

He realizes his master is waiting for an answer. It’s not fair. It’s not Hux’s fault Starkiller is gone. He doesn’t know how to punish him for something he didn’t do. The most he could be truly guilty of was skipping a day and a half of work. He’s afraid to speak, knowing his voice might waver.

“Strip him of his rank.” Kylo says, thankful for his helmet.

“Explain your choice.”

Kylo feels weak. Hux is the one who’s good at games like this. “Well he’s not a traitor, so he doesn’t deserve death, and this will hurt his pride which is more painful for General Hux than physical torture.” he says, trying to keep his voice impassive.

“Hmm, very well. I trust your judgment. You’re dismissed, go. You can choose one room you want to sleep in. Return to me at sunset.”

He doesn’t want to do this. Hux is the best general the First Order has ever seen, intelligent, calculated, and a good leader, but if this saves him from pain or death, Kylo will do it. He finds a room and removes his helmet, setting it on the ground beside the small cot. He lays down but he can’t sleep. He’s slept so much in the past few days and he’s too anxious to sleep now. He’s gotten used to Hux being tucked next to him when he sleeps. He sits up and leans against the wall. He wonders if Snoke will tell Hux personally or if he’ll just send a message to his datapad. Ren can’t decide which is worse.

A new message pops up on Hux’s datapad. It’s from the Supreme Leader and it tells him to go to the officer’s training room. At first he’s scared but then he’s just confused. What could he possibly have to do at the gym? It’s a direct order from Snoke, so he doesn't ask questions.

In the training room he sees the familiar faces of the high ranking officers he’s been working with. They sit in a row behind a long table, looking like they had been waiting for him.

“The Supreme Leader told me to come here. What is the meaning of this?” he asks.

They look like some sort of committee. “The Supreme Leader has found you unable to continue your duty as the general, thus you will have to undergo physical and psychological tests before we decide what we are to do with you.”

Hux doesn’t understand until someone approaches from behind, grabs his left arm, and rips his rank strips from him. He feels like he’s going to throw up. This can’t be real.

“This is the Emergency Committee, we are in command of the Finalizer until the new general is appointed.”

“No. No, there has to be some kind of mistake.” Hux is so confused. His officers, the ones he’d trusted above anyone else, were stripping him of his rank and having him sent off to be evaluated like some kind of common soldier.

“Why? At least tell me that.” Hux says. But they haven’t been told why. They’re following Snoke’s orders blindly.

“Come with us for your physical evaluation.” They lead him out by the arms and he looks down to see fraying material where his stripes had been. Now, truly, everything he’d worked for was gone. The Starkiller, his rank, Ren

The test are pretty standard. He has to run on a treadmill, do some strength exercises, shoot targets with a blaster. Everything has been written down by some doctor Hux doesn’t know. He’s pretty sure he’s done a terrible job. He still can’t comprehend what’s going on around him, feeling like he’s in a nightmare. He hadn’t been exercising regularly since he became general. He has poor stamina, so the treadmill drains him way too fast. He missed his target a few times during the blaster portion of the test. He couldn’t focus and his hands were shaking the whole time. Maybe Snoke was right about him.

He’s filled with self-doubt after doing so poorly on the tests. They lead him off to do the psychological exam. He’s nervous and shaking after the physical testing and is scared for what might happen with his mental exam.

They ask him standard questions that he’s been asked before about strategy and combat methods. Then they start asking personal questions about his emotional state and his feelings. This is strange. This isn’t typically something they ask about. And suddenly it feels like someone has dumped ice water over his head. It feels like he’s woken up. They’re trying to find out about Ren. Snoke must suspect something. He’s lucky he has hid the truth for many of these questions. He hopes Ren comes back soon.

Hux is called back to the committee just to acknowledge that he failed almost all of the tests and is not suited to remain an officer. He’s going to leave the Finalizer on the next First Order controlled planet they approach. Hux stumbles back to his quarters and sees a cleaning droid there with some lesser officer.

“Those are the general’s quarters.” he says. “I’ll show you the room you’ll be staying in.”

Hux feels like he’s about to collapse because this feels too real now. He’s led to a small room that has a single bed and a small dresser with three drawers. He no longer has his own bathroom and this room doesn’t have a window like his old quarters. It feels claustrophobic. He sits down on the bed and feels miserable. Everything feels sterile here and he misses the scent of Ren on his silky black sheets. How did this happen? He lays down and closes his eyes. Snoke has to know. This is his punishment for bedding Kylo Ren. He knew this would end badly. The image of Ren’s face appears in his head. They still have a connection, right? He doesn’t understand the Force, but tries to somehow focus on it. Ren always says he thinks too loud so he tries to scream in his head.

‘REN! WHAT HAPPENED? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? WHY AREN’T YOU HERE? THEY’RE GOING TO SEND ME AWAY. I NEED YOU.’ he means all of it. He’s confused and afraid and he wants to understand. There’s a quiet rage burning in him that desires to destroy Snoke for what he’s done. He doesn’t know if he can, he’s probably too weak, but he wants to try. He wants to hurt him, take everything from him, just as he had done to Hux. He wants to hear Ren’s voice in his head. He needs guidance.

Kylo is meditating in a cold chamber with a high ceiling and no windows. Something is disturbing the perfect stillness of his thoughts, like a voice heard from a great distance, an echo. Ren realizes it’s Hux, calling out to him, wanting him desperately to be by his side. He’s too far away to hear any words from Ren, but he tries to give him something, just the feeling of his presence so Hux knows he’s not alone.

“Come to the throne room. Now.” Snoke’s voice is loud and clear in his thoughts.

Kylo obeys. He’s standing before his master again.

“I don’t have any interest in who you choose to sleep with, boy.” he starts, quitting his charade. “As long as it’s not interfering with your mission. You’ve already formed a new attachment, but it’s not very strong yet. Focus on your training and forget about it. You’ll have to destroy him if you don’t.”

Ren’s eyes widen briefly at the thought of having to destroy Hux. “Yes, master. I’m sorry. I won’t let it happen again.”

This is only partially true. If Hux needs him, he will not hesitate to use the Force to reach out to him. He goes back to his meditation chamber and tries to reassure Hux that it will be okay.

Hux is not in physical pain, but his mental state is alarming. He’s completely broken, Ren can feel it. He thinks that maybe the physical pain would have been a lighter punishment for Hux, that he fucked up again. Hux feels stupid for trying to use that magical Force connection to contact Ren somehow. He doesn’t have that power, he can’t reach out like Ren does. He curls on the standard sheets, feeling helpless and vulnerable. He’s about to have another breakdown when he feels Ren’s presence. He jerks up and looks around, but he’s alone. Maybe his efforts weren’t really for nothing. He feels like someone has gently submerged his mind in a warm bath.

His thoughts feel hazy and weightless. He’s so thankful that Ren heard him and he relaxes a little. He still wants to kill Snoke though. He lets Ren’s presence give him strength.

‘So do I.’ he hears the voice in his head and there’s no mistake about what he’s heard.

Hux feels the presence fade, however. The Finalizer had to have left the system. He’s alone and empty again, too far for Ren’s power to reach him.

Ren opens his eyes when he no longer feels Hux near the planet. They’re gone. The Finalizer has left. Kylo doesn’t know where they are now, he doesn’t have the ability to localize Hux when he’s so far away. He’ll return to him when this is over. He promised him that.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the product of a chat fic that has been going on over the span of several weeks. We have already started part two, so don't worry too much. (But, you know, worry a little because it's going to get intense.)


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